Thursday, June 12, 2003
ITALIAN JOB (2003) I want a suped-up mini-Cooper to drive through the subways of LA. This heist flick certainly is no Oceans 11. There are a couple of ingredients every heist needs by definition: 1) Sharp dialogue, 2) a cool-as-crystal anti-hero, 3) a smooth, slick villain, 4) an elaborate heist, 5) a colorful crew. So I'll give it a grade on each ingrediant.
Dialogue - C-, maybe D. It's just a bland, unmemorable script, save one one about how one should never mess with "mother-freakin' Ukranians." And really, that was the place for the obligatory, PG-13 f-bomb.
Hero/Villian/Girl - straight across the board D- The biggest whole of the film is how incredibly bland Wahlberg, Norton and Theron are. It's a shame really.
Heist - B- If you've seen the tralier, well, then unfortunately there will be no surprises. The best part is the mini-Coopers that go just about everywhere they told you not to drive in driver's ed.
Crew - A The best part of the movie, that makes it all worth it in the end, are the crew of driver extraordinaire Handsome Rob (Jason Statham of those Guy Ritchie flicks), explosives expert Left Ear (Mos Def) and techie Lyle (Seth Green) who insists everyone call him "Napster" since he's the one who really invented it but his college roommate stole the idea. Green steals every scene he's in.
Oceans 11 is the standard by which all heist movies will now be measured and this one doesn't even come close. If you watch it expecting that, it's really going to suck. But if you're just looking for some quickie entertainment, hollow in the middle, to fill a Saturday evening, it's worth watching.